


Red, listen to me, ok?

by orphan_account



Series: Comic and Red are a mess [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I promise there is fluff, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, UT Sans/ UF Sans, anger issues, comic doesnt know how to help, edge doesnt show it but he really does care about red, edge looks out for his mess of a big bro, hes really trying his best ok, kustard - Freeform, red kinda destroys the house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 23:43:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Exhaustion, anxiety, and bottled up feelings do not mix well.Today wasn't supposed to be this hard. All they had to do was go grocery shopping, but less than 2 hours sleep between them added with severe social anxiety isn't the best combination. Especially when Red, who is notoriously bad at dealing with his feelings, had months worth of bad days and depression bottled up and he's ready to explode.Comic knew how bad his soulmate could get, but it's never been this bad before. He doesn't know what to do, and honestly? He's scared, he panics, and makes it worse.Then Red does something stupid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> oof this was super tough to write, mostly because this is a slight vent fic for myself, but also because i somehow managed to trigger myself lmao
> 
> i honestly promise you that there is fluff in here, its just in chapter 2! i split this into 2 parts since i thought it would be a bit hard to read at once
> 
> sorry all i ever write is angst like this haha

Neither of them wanted to be here. There were so many people, and neither Comic nor Red handled crowded places particularly well. The noise and crowds set off their anxiety, and unfortunately both their brothers had told them to stop being so lazy, and do the grocery shopping for once.

They had been having a bad day from the get go, operating on just over two hours sleep between them, having been kept up almost all night by one of Comic’s nightmares, then one of Red’s an hour later. They gave up on sleep after that, and neither felt all that great as a result.

Red had offered to go by himself, knowing how awful the other was feeling, but Comic had insisted on going with him, knowing how awful Red was feeling, that and the fact he knew how horribly Red handled public places. Red appreciated it, thought he didn’t say it, he simply shoved his hands in his pockets and stomped out the door.

Red’s tough guy act without the need for it any more set off alarm bells in Comic’s head, knowing his partner acted that to protect himself. Figuring Red was in a bad head space, Comic jogged to catch up, and forced his hand into Red’s pocket. He noticed Red’s scowl soften slightly as he laced their fingers, feeling Red squeeze softly in thanks.

Now here they were, in the store and both desperately trying to hold themselves together. Though Comic was doing so with more success. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to focus on the words scrawled on the shopping list his brother had given him. He had noticed Red dragging his feet and letting himself get pulled along a little while ago after he pulled his hood up – Comic assumed in an attempt to hide himself. He ignored how sweaty Red’s palms were, gently brushing his fingers over the other’s knuckles, and winced slightly as Red’s grip on his hand tightened almost painfully. Not wanting to speak and distract Red from whatever he was doing to stop himself falling apart, Comic kept occasionally rubbing his hand to remind him he’s here.

Comic huffed softly and scrunched the list up, shoving it back into his pocket, giving up on trying to decipher his brother’s terrible handwriting. He made a mental note to make sure Edge wrote everything from now on. He jumped hearing sudden laughter behind them, the loud noise catching him off guard. Feeling his non existent heart pounding, he tried relaxing his shoulders and exhaled slowly.

 _okay, calm down, you’re fine, you’re fi- red?_ His thought was cut short as his partner’s grip on his hand became almost unbearable. He realised Red had stiffened next to him and started trembling slightly.

“red, sweetheart, are you alright?” Comic whispered, trying to ignore the pain in his hand, shooting up his arm. ‘ _do you need to leave?’_ is what he wanted to ask, but didn’t, knowing Red would only be angry at himself.

Red nodded a little too quickly, barely hearing his lover’s “okay” over the pounding of his soul in his rib cage. He was vaguely aware of Comic pulling him along, he could barely even focus his eye lights, he was just focusing on not dropping to the floor and crying like a baby bones then and there. Comic kept glancing at him to decide if he needed to act.

Suddenly, everything became too much. The lights were too bright and burned his eye sockets, every noise felt skull splitting, his mouth was dry, he felt like he was being stared at, there wasn’t enough air. He felt his rib cage heave with non existent lungs as he desperately tried to breathe. He didn’t hear what his lover said over the pain hammering in his skull and his bones rattling with his trembling. He grit his teeth and focused all his energy on breathing. He thought he would be able to calm down, until someone brushed past him. That was the last straw.

Red inhaled sharply, his free hand gripping and tugging at his jumper over his soul as he wheezed for air, his eye lights flickering out.

 **“...go...”** His voice was barely even a whisper.

“what? Sweetheart, i can’t hear you.” Comic replied quickly, stepping in front of Red protectively.

 **“...need…to go...now.”** He managed between gasps.

Comic acted immediately, grabbing Red by the arm and dragging him into an empty aisle. Wrapping his arm protectively around him, Comic snapped his fingers, teleporting them back home into the middle of their living room. He was grateful no one else was home, because the second they were home, Red _broke._ Red’s legs gave out, and he hit the floor hard, wheezing as clutched his chest.

“shit…” Comic dropped to his knees, gathering his partner in his arms. “hey, hey, shh, red, sweetheart, it’s okay, you’re okay. i’m here, okay, i’m right here with you.”

He gently unlatched Red’s hand from his ribs, holding it tightly as Red moved suddenly to cling to him. Comic slowly rubbed soothing circles down his spine, pressing their rib cages together and breathed slowly and deeply, hoping Red would begin to copy him. Comic tried to suppress a shudder and failed, feeling the raw pain, fear, and despair radiating from Red’s soul.

“r-red?” He didn’t know what to say or do. Red was in so much pain and he didn’t know what to do, he was scared.

Red inhaled sharply, suddenly shoving himself away from comic.. He shakily clutched his chest as though he had just been hit, hyperventilating and staring blankly at Comic, his eye sockets wide and his eye lights flickering weakly.

 **“you’re….scared…? of me…?”** He choked out.

“...what?” Comic then realised he hadn’t been able to hide his fear from the other fast enough, his own eye sockets widening, immediately trying to backtrack. “n-no, stars, red, no. i’m not scared _of_ you, i’m scared _for-”_

 **“LIAR! you’re...you’re gonna...leave...you don’t care...no one...cares!”** Red screamed, he was manic, and barely able to breathe. He had no idea how ridiculous he sounded – in his mind that was the truth.

Comic made no move towards him, worried he might react badly. Instead he desperately tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but he wasn’t listening. He watched as Red slowly pulled himself up on shaky legs, stumbling and steadying himself with the table, his breaths laboured and erratic. He was about to get up and say something when Red suddenly slammed his fist down, splitting the wood, causing Comic to flinch away.

 **“FUCK.”** Red wheezed softly, slowly unclenching his trembling fist, drops of marrow forming on his knuckles. He felt so fucking angry and scared, at himself, at everyone, at everything. In the middle of his breakdown he wanted to scream and cry but couldn’t, so he opted to destroy everything instead. He figured it was what he’s good at.

“red, please, c-calm down, listen to me-” Comic ducked as s book was thrown his way, not that he needed to; red had a good arm, he missed on purpose. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t even a little bit scared. Red was normally fairly easy for Comic to predict, but this was different, he had never acted this way before. Comic guessed Red must have been bottling this up for a long time. Hugging his knees against his chest, Comic sat still to keep out of the other’s way, watching him closely in case he needed to stop him.

Red balled his hands into fists, staring furiously at the floor, his ribs creaking with each painful breath. He stepped forward, stumbling and feeling dizzy from hyperventilating, he yelled in frustration and kicked a chair across the room. Whining in time with a loud _SNAP,_ he leaned against the wall for support, the force of kicking the chair breaking three of his toes.

“red...” Comic inhaled sharply, the snapping noise making him wince. He started to move but stopped and stayed put as one of the other chairs flew past him this time with a red glow of magic.

 **“shut up.”** He scowled at the skeleton on the floor, his left eye light flickering and weakly glowing red. **“shut up shut up shut upshutUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!”**

He began punching the wall next to him, over and over, until it was cracked and dented. Screaming, he punched once more, the force leaving a fist sized hold and fracturing his wrist simultaneously. Panting hard, Red cradled his arm against his chest, and, ignoring whatever it was Comic was trying to say to him, he felt his control on his magic slipping. He figured at this point he really didn’t care. As he trembled, so did the area around him, knocking everything of every shelf in the room. The TV fell over, landing next to Comic with the sound of glass smashing. The couch flew across the room, forcing Comic to shuffle backwards to avoid it. _oof, edge won’t be happy._ He thought to himself.

“red, sweetheart, stop. please. you’re hurting yourself, and honestly, you’re scaring me. i-i…i don’t know what to do. red? c’mon, please listen to me… please.” Comic was begging, ignoring the various objects flying around. Red was wheezing and clutching his chest, he was sweaty and looked about to collapse any second. His eye light was unfocused, he was letting his emotions control his magic – a huge red flag in Comic’s mind. He could feel the deep pain from his soulmate across the room.

“please, just fucking LISTEN TO ME.” Comic squeezed his eye sockets shut, trying to sound as commanding as he could, he hated raising his voice.

No longer hearing anything being thrown around, he slowly opened his eye sockets and everything fell to the ground. The room was silent except for Red panting. They stayed like that for a minute, Red trembling, leaning against the wall, and Comic eyeing him carefully from the floor. Comic didn’t know what to say, so it was Red to break the silence. His voice was soft and broken.

**“i want to die.”**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaanndd here's Edge being a sweetheart, and the fluff i promised uwu
> 
> god i sure like breaking red's bones and making him say fuck huh

“...what?” Comic blinked. Red hadn’t moved, his broken wrist held against his chest, and staring at the floor. He stayed silent for a while, only speaking again when Comic was about to.

“ **i...can’t do this…** **i** **don’t** _ **want**_ **to.”** His voice was barely more than a whisper and shaky to match his rattling bones.

“ **babe** **, i...i think it’s...better if I give up.”** Red laughed bitterly. **“it’s what ‘m good at, right?… messin’ stuff up then quittin’.”**

“what the fuck are you talking about? Better if you give up? that’s bullshit. you’re being stupid.” Comic kicked himself for sounding more aggressive than he meant. The way Red flinched at his words didn’t go unnoticed.

“ **heh. y** **ou’re right, i’m stupid. guess i’ll stop.”** His voice was flat and emotionless.

“red...you know that’s not what I meant.” Comic sighed, pinching his nasal bone.

Red didn’t reply. He didn’t hear, he wasn’t thinking any more. He just weakly managed to summon a sharpened red bone, and positioned it at his rib cage, pointed directly at his soul. Comic’s eye sockets widened, he felt his soul scream at him to do something.

“RED, NO!” He was too far away to get to Red before he seriously hurt himself, or worse. Comic panicked and did the only thing he could think of. His left eye lit up, in his panic, turning Red blue and slamming him to the ground a _lot_ harder than he meant to, a loud cracking noise echoing through the room. Comic flinched at the sound.

“r-red? babe? c-come on, this joke isn’t funny. say something, move, _anything.”_ His soul pounded against his ribs, blue tears burning the corners of his eye sockets. He shakily crawled over to where Red was laying on the floor, carefully turning him over and sighing softly in relief, realising he had only cracked two of Red’s ribs rather than his spine or skull, and he was only unconscious.

“shit, fuck, god, red, i’m so fucking sorry, i didn’t mean to, i just, i-i...i...” He slowly moved Red so his skull was on his lap, frowning as Red still looked to be in pain.

Comic started to panic, his anxiety eating away at him. What if Red hated him now? Was he not enough for him? What if his injuries didn’t heal right? What if he hurt Red when he had so little HP? He couldn’t even help his damn soul mate when he needed him most, he was so fucking useless.

He quickly dug his phone out of his pocket, his hands shaking so hard he had to hold it with both. He was about to call his brother, but decided against it, realising Papyrus would just freak out and generally not be helpful. Instead, he called Edge, who picked up after three rings exactly.

“ _ **This had better be important. I thought I made it clear-”**_

“-to never call you while you’re at work, yeah i know.” He figured his anxiety must have been clear in his voice because Edge’s tone changed immediately.

“ _ **...Comic? What’s wrong? What happened?”**_

“i-it’s red. h-he...uh...he just kinda lost it, and i-i didn’t know what to d-do. god, fuck, h-he just… p-please help me.” He couldn’t hold back his tear any longer, pressing his free hand to his face, he sobbed down the phone pathetically.

“ _ **Comic. Sans. Is he...alright?”**_

“he’s alive if that’s what you’re asking.” He felt himself struggle for breath “p-please come home, i-i’m boutta lose my fucking shit here. and d-don’t tell my bro, he’ll just freak out.”

“ _ **I’m on my way.”**_

Comic hung up and threw his phone across the room, desperately trying to wipe his tears to stop them from dripping onto Red’s face on his lap. Giving up, he sobbed softly, moving a shaky hand to rest over Red’s cracked and fragile soul, trying to pour some of the love from his own into it.

“i-i’m so sorry… i don’t deserve you. i should’ve been better, you d-deserve better. god, fuck, please be okay.” He whimpered softly, clutching his shirt over his own soul which throbbed excruciatingly. He hunched over, hyperventilating, he didn’t hear the door open and Edge come in.

“i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry.” He muttered over and over, more to himself than to Red.

Edge stopped in the doorway seeing the mess, and sighed softly, pinching his nasal bone before collecting himself, slowly stepping over everything to the red and blue messes on the floor. He knelt down next to Comic, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

“ **Sans, look at me.”** Edge’s voice was soft but still kept it’s commanding tone, making Comic look up at him, tears still flowing shamelessly.

“h-help him...” His face scrunched up as he sobbed, clutching his chest painfully. Edge frowned, seeing how much pain Comic was in, and did as he was told, turning his attention to his unconscious brother.

_**You look like shit, imbecile.**_ _ **Good job scaring your soul mate like this.**_ He thought to himself, checking his brother over, sighing at the broken bones. He checked Red’s stats and raised a brow bone.

“ **He’s fine.”** Edge rolled his eyes.

“b-but...his injuries...i h-hurt him.” Comic wheezed softly, trying to catch his breath.

“ **No, you didn’t. His HP is still at one. If anything, you helped him. The rest he did to himself, I can’t heal the broken bones, but I can ease the pain and heal the scratches.”** He shifted to focus, his hand glowing a light orange as he eased his brother’s physical pain. Comic watched tearfully, and hiccuping softly as Red’s face relaxed now with the absence of pain.

“ **So, what actually happened?”** Edge spoke quietly, his expression uncharacteristically soft. Comic slowly regained his composure, rubbing at his eye sockets with his sleeve. He looked down at his partner’s face and sighed softly.

“i...i’m not really sure. he was having one of his bad days but insisted he was fine, so we went to the store and he had a panic attack. i brought us home and-...i… edge, i felt _so much_ pain and despair from him...” He sobbed again, clutching his chest remembering the feeling. Edge stayed silent, giving him as much time as he needed to explain.

“a-and it scared me. he got the wrong idea, thought i was scared of him and said i would leave him – which is bullshit and he knows it, plus we’ve had that before, we could deal with that, b-but...this was different. i mean, he wouldn’t listen, and i dunno what happened, he got angry and irrational. he yelled at me, and refused to listen, and started breaking stuff. then he kicked the chair, and i tried to stop him when he broke his toes, but he just screamed and threw a chair at me.” Comic shuddered before continuing.

“he was using his magic, but… he wasn’t really in control, and when he stopped he just said he wanted to die, that he couldn’t deal with it any more...a-and…h-he...he...” He found he couldn’t finish the sentence, so he pointed to the red bone still laying on the floor. “i panicked, made him blue and kinda...slammed him down...”

Edge glared at his brother, making a note to have a...chat, at some point. He hummed thoughtfully, running a hand over his face, and Comic squinted at him.

“this has happened before, hasn’t it.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“ **Once. Several years ago. I wasn’t in the position where I could really be there for him, or seen to care for him, and he was in a significantly worse place then.”** Edge paused, looking at his brother, a hint of sadness in his expression. **“I walked in on him staring down the barrel of a blaster. I don’t believe he even knew I was there. He was drunk and passed out before he could really hurt himself. He had, however, destroyed the house, like this. We never spoke of it. He had no one back then.”**

“he has people now though.” Comic sighed.

“ **I think, deep down, he’s always regretted not doing what he intended that day. What he went through down there… It isn’t something he will be okay with for a very long time.”** He moved, carefully lifting his brother’s body and carried him over to the misplaced couch, gently laying him down.

“ **Sans, I want to thank you. I have been meaning to for a while. Since being with you, I’ve seen my brother smile and laugh, _genuinely_ laugh, which I hadn’t seen since I was a babybones. He did so much for us growing up. I’m grateful, that he can relax, and grow to be happy now. Thank you, for saving him today. I know he will feel the same once he recovers.”**

“o-oh, yeah, no prob.” Comic blinked, his cheek bones flushed lightly, Edge’s gentle demeanour catching him off guard. He shuffled over to the couch, not wanting to leave his soul mate’s side, but feeling like he should help Edge clean the house at the same time.

“ **You should rest too. No need to help.”** Edge stated, starting to sweep broken glass from the floor.

“thanks.” Comic climbed onto the couch, gently shifting Red until he was comfortable then pulled Red up between his legs and half on top of him, feeling the need to hold him as close as possible. He gasped softly, suddenly feeling a small but noticeable warmth radiating from Red’s soul and seeping into his own. Snuggling into the thick fur of Red’s jacket, Comic let his eye sockets close, his exhaustion now hitting him like a truck. He made sure Red’s soul could feel his warmth and love before letting himself sleep.

~

Comic groaned softly, slowly being woken up by shuffling and muffled gasps on top of him. Shifting slightly, he huffed and threw his arm over his face, whining childishly.

“mm, five more minutes.”

“ **...fuck you.”** The voice was tired and barely more than a whisper.

“red?!” Comic’s eye sockets snapped open, sitting himself upright so fast he saw stars.

“ **ow, hey, fuckin’ watch it.”** Red winced, shifting and holding his good arm protectively over his ribs.

“shit, sorry. are you okay?” Comic frowned, sitting himself up slowly and gently manoeuvred Red to lean against him.

“ **i guess.”**

They stayed like that in silence, Red trying to get comfortable despite the pain shooting through his bones and staying quiet in the hopes that Comic wouldn’t mention anything. He was more than happy to pretend today never happened, like last time. Feeling as though Comic was about to open his mouth, Red spoke up a little to frantically.

“ **o-oh, hey, uh, who c-cleaned up?”** He laughed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Comic.

“...edge.” He stated slowly, unsure how Red would react. Red whined, sitting up painfully, and hiding his face in his jacket.

“ **shit. fuck. he was never supposed to see that shit again. god fucking damn it.”** He sighed and stared at his lap, his good hand curling into the fabric of his shorts anxiously. Comic’s eye sockets widened.

“you knew he saw?” He shifted to sit next to Red, placing his hand over the other’s.

“ **of course i knew. i was drunk not fuckin’ blind- wait-”** Red’s head snapped up to meet Comic. **“he fucking told you about that?!** **why did you call him?”**

He groaned, wiping angrily at his face as tears of frustration slipped from his eye sockets. Comic gently wrapped his arms around Red, pressing his teeth to his cheek, trying to comfort him.

“red, you were unconscious, you almost dusted yourself, i was freaking the fuck out. of course i called him. i couldn’t exactly call my bro, that would’ve ended with everyone screamin’ and cryin’. he worried about you.” Comic sighed softly, slowly rubbing circles down Red’s spine.

“ **...whatever.”** He huffed and turned to lean into Comic’s arms, hoping to change the subject. **“oh yeah. why are my ribs broken, huh? i might be stupid but i ain’t** _ **that**_ **stupid.”**

“uh…yeah that was me. i-i’m sorry, i panicked and kinda….threw you down.” Comic looked away, playing with a loose thread on his jacket anxiously. Red rolled his eye lights, and pulled the neckline of Comic’s shirt, forcing him to face him he pressed their teeth together. Tucking his skull under Comic’s chin, he exhaled softly.

“ **it’s...fine...”** Red paused, convincing himself to suck it up and just say it. **“th-thanks… for everything, i mean. i, uh...i didn’t really wanna do it, i wasn’t thinkin’ right...i-i...i don’t ever wanna leave ya like that.”**

Comic laid back and held his jacket open, inviting Red to lay on him. Red accepted, slowly moving and trying positioning himself comfortably against his soul mate without hurting himself. He winced and shifted awkwardly, sighing happily feeling the comforting warmth of Comic’s jacket and arms around him.

“if you’re in pain i can get edge or pap to come use healing magic?” He asked, hating seeing his soul mate in pain.

“ **...’m fine. don’t wanna deal with that yet.”** Red shook his head.

“okay, but we are definitely talking about this tomorrow. i’m not letting you bottle shit up any more.”

“ **whatever.”**

“i mean it, red.”

“ **i know.”**

“i love you.”

“ **i know.”**

“...”

“ **...love you, too.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading this hot mess!!
> 
> pls leave a kudos or a comment, thank you!!!

**Author's Note:**

> chapter 2 will be up either tonight or tomorrow!
> 
> thank you for reading! pls let me know what u think!!


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